I installed the GNOME network-manager as instructed on the archwiki, but when I rebooted I received the most wonderfully pointless error message I have ever seen on a computer since Windows 95/98:
The NetworkManager applet could not find some required resources. It cannot continue.
And that was all. Not a single, solitary clue as to what the hell went wrong. Nothing. Void. They might as well have displayed the picture of a peeled orange instead, as it is far more pleasing to behold such a nice piece of fruit, and will provide exactly just as much information for me to diagnose the problem as the error message does